Falling in the General Direction of Up

I've been a bit of a grumbling, cranky, whining, negative Nelly for...oh...a few months...or so... Hard to say how long really. Awhile. Two reasons. 1. Work. Which is not as psycho. Or just as psycho, but a different psycho. Ever changing psycho-ness. True story... recently I helped a lady get her dog into the morgue to say it's last goodbyes to "daddy", walked away from a man who was unhinged and utterly belligerent about the price of a cookie in our cafe (ever hear of a free market, buddy? Looks like you don't need a cookie either way. Just sayin'), and had an ignorant (and by ignorant I mean stupid and mean) doctor make me cry. I also I smashed my head on a hand sanitizer dispenser (don't ask). 2. Winter. I know I don't get to complain about winter because it never dipped lower than -7 and we didn't get 6 feet of snow. However - we had way too many months of rain, sleet, and grey skies and I wasn't warm one day for a sol

I don't like to see hurting people. I want to reach inside of them and remove that thing that is causing them pain. I suppose it's because I've been a hurting person and wished someone would do just that.  Its funny though - some people don't want help. And I get that. You don't want to admit you're weak. That you don't have it all together. You don't want people to see the ragged, broken parts. You're afraid of what they might say. Or perhaps you're afraid that if you fully face those demons,  you simply won't survive it.  I've spent a lot of time trying to figure out myself over the years. Part of the reason is I tried, for nearly all my life, to figure out why my mother or father didn't want me. For many years, my conclusion was that it was because I was a mistake. And that's never a good thing to believe about yourself.  The other reason was because I was also told, for more than half my life, that I was the problem.