Falling in the General Direction of Up

This blog has been a place where I've chronicled my journey with B3. You were there with me when I first wondered if I was dating or not. You walked with me as I struggled to trust that this relationship wouldn't harm or betray. I know you were all cheering for me.  I want to acknowledge that focusing time and energy on this relationship has cut into my ability to form or maintain other friendships in the way I would like. And I've felt guilty about that. But I also knew that building this relationship was important for many reasons beyond whether B3 and I would make it or not. Nevertheless, I want to apologize to those I've let time slip away from. And thank you for allowing me the space to find my way.  I also know that each of you probably have some expectations around this relationship. I say that because I've been there too: being on the sidelines of someone's relationship and writing the perfect fairytale ending to it and then they inexplicably ch

I've been quiet lately. In terms of my interactions with humans. Work has consumed way too much space in my brain. It's been emotionally exhausting. Continues to be. And winter... well, if I could be a bear, I would. Find myself a cozy cave to snuggle into and sleep away the grey and the cold and the wind and rain and emerge as the buds and berries are starting to burgeon. Instead, I've been cold since October and am now staring out the window with contempt at the snow. I've been noticeably quiet with my blogging too. There's a lot of drafts sitting there. Thirty eight to be exact. This winter has been a hard one for a lot of reasons so I would start a post, in part, to rant. Then it would die because I was, in fact, just getting something off my chest. And since I'm not Rick Mercer or Rex Murphy , I can't make a career out of my rants, so I simply abandon it until the next one surfaces. My silence has also been indicative of  an identify crisi