Falling in the General Direction of Up

I am in a really nice place in my life.   Apparently, for the first time, I'm in a "normal" relationship. As normal goes, anyway. And I have no idea what to do with it.   My default mode is to take a step back and eye it warily. The fears start to whisper at me. I'm rude to it and try to quell it. But it's so natural for me to be skittish. My history with most of my significant relationships have taught me to react this way. People don't stay. Particularly if you disappoint. And I always disappoint. Particularly if you're not enough. And I'm never enough. Particularly if you are too much. And I'm too much.  I met a wonderful couple this weekend at my favourite watering hole. They know my beau. Think quite highly of him. They were shocked that I had children who were as old as they were. And that I was a grandmother. They declared me not old enough for such things. They also declared me quite lovely. And told my beau I was a keeper.

So.  This dating thing.  I won't lie or mince words - it is scary for me.  I have a gaggle of ghosts that like to visit and try to spook me out of moving forward into something that could be very, very good.  The thing is - those ghosts are no longer as frightening as they once were. Those little apparitions have been losing their ectoplasmic power over the past year. Nevertheless, they made an appearance the other night. And they were joined by the rest of the debate team; my own personal version of NORAD (the early warning defence system that I have carefully crafted over the years) and (the newest member of the team) the Truth Teller.   The three of them convened their little debate on the heels of a...well...a whirlwind week. With my new beau. A whirlwind week that has culminated in us expressing, often, how we feel about each other. I am happy to report that we are equally smitten. Not only can the people around us see it but we can see it in each other's eyes whe