Falling in the General Direction of Up

Oh the things my mind doesn't think of. I had an...interesting day. Can't really tell you about it cuz, you know - it's confidential. But what I can tell you is that it reminded me of the demons that try to take up space in my head. And the things those little pointy-eared bastards say and want me to believe.    I've named one of those ugly little creatures, Louis DePalma. Remember him?  Taxi. A sitcom circa 1978. He was the character played by Danny DeVito. (or maybe you remember him from Matilda - he played the "I'm smart, you're dumb" dad.) That short, stout, balding, sneering character that liked to taunt, cajole, diminish, and harass . He had no redeeming value whatsoever. He wasn't even an anti-hero. He was just anti. Well - that's what the demons in my brain are all about.  They have no redeeming value yet they are in there (for a plethora of reasons I won't bore you with).   I've waged war on those gnarly little th

I sat in church a couple weeks ago and during the worship singing I had to stop.  Not to pause and take a breath, but I had to pull a full stop. The lyrics bothered me.  The worship song was Cannons, by Phil Wickham.  " I'm so unworthy, but still You love me.  Forever my heart will sing of how great You are" My heart rebelled against those lyrics.   I'm so unworthy .  I'm so unworthy.  My heart said - no!  That's not the truth.   A week later, I stayed home on a Sunday, desperately needing some quite and wanting no other voice than that of my Fathers. At one point that morning, I hit play, streaming worship songs on Google Play. I wanted to lift my voice and sooth my soul. Everything was going swimmingly until I heard this song by Kari Jobe: "Love me, though I'm not worthy...cleanse me, though I'm not worthy...I'm not worthy to feel your love..." I turned off that song and my heart worried over those lyric