Worthy
I sat in church a couple weeks ago and during the worship singing I had to stop. Not to pause and take a breath, but I had to pull a full stop. The lyrics bothered me.
The worship song was Cannons, by Phil Wickham.
"I'm so unworthy, but still You love me. Forever my heart will sing of how great You are"
My heart rebelled against those lyrics. I'm so unworthy.
I'm so unworthy.
My heart said - no! That's not the truth.
A week later, I stayed home on a Sunday, desperately needing some quite and wanting no other voice than that of my Fathers. At one point that morning, I hit play, streaming worship songs on Google Play. I wanted to lift my voice and sooth my soul. Everything was going swimmingly until I heard this song by Kari Jobe:
"Love me, though I'm not worthy...cleanse me, though I'm not worthy...I'm not worthy to feel your love..."
I turned off that song and my heart worried over those lyrics. My brain turned them over and over.
I’ve lived my entire life feeling not worthy. I've had a few people who made it their mission to remind me that I'm not worthy. But I’ve met this Jesus. This God. This Father who tells me, I am worthy. Of His love, of His grace, of His kindness, mercy, compassion, friendship, comfort. I'm worthy of it all.
Yes - I get where the “we’re not worthy" part comes from. He’s a Holy God, we’re a sinful, willful lot. But the entire context of the Bible is God’s relentless love and pursuit of His creation. His children. And who would ever tell their children they are not worthy of your love and grace, and forgiveness. Your time, heart, teaching, relationship. Only someone who is a bad father. Not someone who is a good father. My Father is a Good, Good Father.
The fact is, I am worthy.
Because I’m His.
I remember a conversation I had with my counsellor regarding the rocky relationship I was having with my dad. And I said to her, "Maybe I’m expecting too much”. Her reply?
“You're his daughter, you get to expect it all.”
That statement set me back on my heels. We are God’s daughters too. And not only can we expect it all, He gives it all. He GAVE it all. For me. For you. Why would Christ die a horrific death if we were not worthy? If I had to walk my walk with Jesus with this knowledge, that I was never worthy, I couldn’t do it. I know that because I felt that way for a number of years. But God picked me up, dusted me off and said “That’s not who I am. You are worthy."
How many times have I heard those that have rejected a faith in Christ up until the very end because the message they've been fed is they aren’t worthy. They think they have to clean themselves up before meeting a Holy God. To become worthy. And they know they aren’t clean enough or worthy enough, nor will they ever be. If only they knew that they had to do nothing. That they didn't need to clean themselves up. That God has pursued them, loved them, deemed them worthy all this time.
Furthermore, how can you let the love of God transform you when you are always, head bowed, sorrowful and shamed in your unworthiness. How transformative would it be if you knew that all God wants to do is lift your chin, gaze into your eyes and tell you - show you - that you are deeply, eternally loved. Beloved. Precious. Lift your head, daughter, and see the Good, Good Father I am. You are mine. You are precious in my eyes. Is 43.
"Others were given in exchange for you. I traded their lives for yours because you are precious to me. You are honored, and I love you." - NLV
"Because you are precious in my eyes, and honored, and I love you, I give men in return for you, peoples in exchange for your life." -ESV
"Since you are precious in My sight, Since you are honored and I love you, I will give other men in your place and other peoples in exchange for your life." - NASB
“Because you are precious in My sight,You are honored and I love you,I will give other men in return for you and other peoples in exchange for your life." - AMP
"Because I am God, your personal God,The Holy of Israel, your Saviour. I paid a huge price for you: all of Egypt, with rich Cush and Seba thrown in! That’s how much you mean to me! That’s how much I love you. I’d sell off the whole world to get you back, trade the creation just for you. - MSG
Do you hear what God is saying?
I’m worthy.
Do you hear that?
I am worthy. You are worthy.
No matter how many times these faulty humans repeat it to me - no matter how many times they demonstrate it - I am worthy. My Father says I am.
How and where do you find freedom and peace when you sit in the seat of unworthy? That’s not where you’re meant to sit. You are meant to sit in the seat of forgiven. Loved. Daughter.
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