When We Are Afraid of the Dark

I am always amazed at the human spirit and what we can and will do to survive. What we are able to endure. When we feel we can't gasp one more meagre breath into our lungs, we manage to eek out the smallest half gasp which leads to another and another until we are able to fill our lungs. When we think we can't rise again - simply cannot pick ourselves up one more time - this time was surely the last wound our souls can withstand - we steady ourselves and with a mighty keening roar, half desperation  half determination - we pull ourselves upright, back straightened, shoulders back, firmly planting feet and stare back at our adversary. Sorry - this is not the time you will destroy me either. 

I'm a little angry at the moment. 

I grew up learning to be polite. Respectful. Find the silver lining. Make lemons out of lemonade. See the best in people. I also went to church so I was taught to forgive. Do unto others. Turn the other cheek. Love the unlovable. And there was a good bit in there about wives submitting to their husbands. Who knew this could be the most dangerous situation a trusting, smart, loving woman could be in - their marital relationship. For the record, when biblical precepts are used to cover up the truth - when it enables what is dark to feed and fester and proliferate - it's a lie. Straight from hell. 

I've also lived through and seen how shame can silence what most needs to be said. How lies suppress truth. Evil prevails. Where abuse - and let’s call abuse what it really is - destruction - runs free, devouring the target of this rage. 

The older I get the more I despise lies and destruction. I instead, gravitate to the unfiltered. At least they are authentic. And they usually have a keener sense of justice - of what’s right and wrong than the excruciatingly polite, charmingly loquacious and the nicest of nice.

I've had the privilege of knowing a few valiant women in my life. We did not sign up to be warriors. We have lived, and are living, our own horrendous battle. Yet, we have donned the armour, picked up the meagre weapons at our disposal and walked straight into the fight time and time again. There are times I wish I could transport myself to their side and stand with them, in their brokenness, to fiercely challenge the dark. When you are a seasoned warrior and have nothing left to lose, survived more than most people - I want to dare the enemy to provoke me. Bring it on. And like last time, I will survive. We will survive. Because in the end, the strong do win.  She tells her story and brings light to darkness. Truth will stand shoulder to shoulder and the giant will fall.